When Routine Bites Hard

Uncle Gnat off to the shops to get a finger of fudge and a tin of pop.

Aye Papi! Explosivo.

can i have your email address — Asked by pencilpaperandimagination

for what nefarious or exciting reason?!

I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don’t know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

Patrick.

You want a carrot?

‘Classic Post’ - Brain Fireworks™

Before the internet. Before iPods. Before Happy Slapping. Before the 10 min freeview on Sky. You had to make your own excitement.

This was mine.

Self -inflicted Brain Fireworks™.

If you closed your eyes and pressed your head into the pillow really hard or into the crook of your arm – you got to see a kaleidoscope of retina bursting stars and blasts of colour.

Super lo-fi 1st generation games console. In your head. Behind your eyes.

Better than Pac-Man (which I used to cry in angry frustration at) or Horace Goes Skiing.

Kind of like when you press your fingers across a calculator screen and it all goes a bit rainbow-y, but inside your mind.

Neural Nintendo.

Like a fucked up budget planetarium in your cranium. Open 24 hours. Even at night. Poor man’s pyrotechnics available at the small cost of possible permanent eye damage.

If you take your time, and let the visions come to you then you will be rewarded. Some mad shapes really start to form out of the dark canvas of your minds eye. Faces, shapes, bright blots and aggressive blobs. Rawshack images burning into the fabric of your brains nerve endings. Providing literally minutes of intense fun.

Best thing is it’s completely portable, and doesn’t need any batteries.

Bored of the latest lie packed church sermon? Simply press your eyes into the palms of your hands and away you go.You’re now your own celestial being!

Forced to go and sit through some play/comedy night/performance art featuring a friend of a friend? It’s garbage right? No worries – time for Brain Fireworks™! Jam your head into your forearm and compress those eyeballs until you’re in the magic kingdom of psychotropic space!!

Try it tonight when you’re bored of your plethora of gadgets and/or loved ones face. It’s amazing!

Home made childhood retina damage fun.